


Leave

by ravenclawkohai



Category: Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Break Up, Break Up Talk, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-04
Updated: 2018-07-04
Packaged: 2019-06-05 03:31:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15161621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ravenclawkohai/pseuds/ravenclawkohai
Summary: Sephiroth has to break up with Cloud, and it doesn't go quite the way he expected.





	Leave

               This was… not going as he expected.

               Sephiroth had spent a lot of time preparing himself for this. Possibly _too_ much time preparing. He knew what had to be done and, usually, he would take action immediately. But this required tact, which wasn’t something he was best known for. So instead he tried to soften the blow as best he could. He did everything in his power to let Cloud know what was coming before the conversation. He wanted to give him time to come to terms with things on his own. To give him privacy to work through his feelings before being put on the spot.

               He did it in a thousand different ways. He took hours to answer texts that he normally would have gotten to in minutes. He sometimes didn’t answer them at all. He answered PHS calls on the last ring, if he didn’t let them go straight to voicemail. Cloud tried to corner him time and again, ask what was going on, if he was okay—and that was what hurt. Cloud’s concern for him. He was the one who would be hurt the worst by this, and that caring made something in him twist painfully. But every time he was asked about the situation, he deflected. He had a mission. He had paperwork. He _always_ had paperwork now. He was just busy.

               Until, apparently, enough was enough.

               He hadn’t known things were coming to a head, that he was on an actual time table, until Zack burst into his office.

               He didn’t knock before entering, but he never did. He came in and dropped into the seat on the other side of his desk, the way he always did, but there was the distinct absence of his usual peppy greeting. When he finally glanced up from his laptop, the look on his face only confirmed his suspicions: Zack was upset—upset with _him_.

               “You always have paperwork.”

               “… I am aware.”

               “You always _have_ had paperwork. All the time.”

               “I have a functioning understanding of my workload, yes.”

               “You managed to find time for Cloud before.”

               It was only by virtue of long practice burying emotions that he didn’t wince. Instead, he went flat, blank as a slate, and somehow, that was just as telling to Zack. He groaned and slumped in his chair, scrubbing a hand over his face.

               “Sometimes I _really_ hate when I’m right,” Zack grumbled to himself.

               “Do you have a point, Zackary?”

               The full name got him a sharp look. Wrong moment to pull that card.

               “ _Normally_ , I would agree with you. You and Cloud are two consenting adults and what you do is none of my business. Except Cloud _made_ it my business.”

               “I fail to see your point.”

               “Because you don’t want to see it, Sephiroth, and you know it. He’s been worried about you since this distance bullshit started, but he’s starting to take it personally, now. He thinks he’s done something wrong or that he hurt you or upset you somehow. He wanted me to try and find out what it was. He’d kill me if he found out I told you all that at all, but I know you well enough to know that something else is up. You don’t get dodgy when you’re upset, you get snappy.”

               Sephiroth pressed his lips into a thin line.

               He thought Cloud would be able to read between the lines better. That he would get at least some idea of what was happening by now. This was supposed to be a grace period, not prolonged suffering. The point of drawing this out had been to give Cloud space, but it seems he wasn’t doing that at all.

               “I’ll talk to him.”

               “If things—wait, you’ll what?”

               “I said, ‘I’ll talk to him.’”

               Zack stared at him suspiciously until Sephiroth sighed and asked, “What?”

               “That was too easy.”

               “Too easy?”

               “I thought I’d have to spend half an hour wheedling you to figure out what was going on, and you’ll just fix it after thirty seconds?”

               Sephiroth shrugged.

               “You present a different perspective on the problem. I wasn’t aware that Cloud felt that way. It wasn’t my intent. I’ll talk to him.”

               “… But there was intent.”

               “Yes.”

               “Intent to what?”

               “That’s none of your concern.”

               “If you’re going icy on my other best friend, I’m concerned regardless.”

               “Stop being concerned. I’ll handle it.”

               Zack looked at him suspiciously again, but carefully climbed to his feet.

               “Alright, but just—do it soon, okay?”

               “I will,” he swore.

               And he kept his word, the way he always did.

               When he had said that he was free and wanted to see him, Cloud agreed immediately. They were to meet in the apartment Cloud had just been issued upon joining SOLDIER.

When he arrived at the end of the day, he knocked respectfully. He attempted to wait for Cloud to answer, but it seemed clear he wasn’t going to. He sighed and let himself in with the keycard Cloud had given him the same day he’d gotten his own key. The door whirred open once he slid his card through and he entered quietly, resting Masamune at the door. He turned to find Cloud on his couch tapping away at his PHS, playing some phone game Zack had gotten him into (and tried to get Sephiroth into, with no success), but his posture revealed his anxiety. Normally, Cloud would be slumped low, tired after hours of training. Now, he was sitting ramrod straight, posture perfect in a way it never was outside of standing at attention. He started at the sound of the door clicking shut, cutting a quick glance to Sephiroth before exiting his game and pocketing his PHS.

               “Hey,” he said, voice tight with nerves. “How was work?”

               “Fine,” he answered, more curt than was strictly necessary.

               He expected Cloud to wince, to flinch, for his face to twist in a frown or pout. Instead, he seemed to shut down. It was a worrying sight.

               He came to sit across the coffee table from Cloud, when normally he would have sat next to him. More distance. Another strategic move.

               Another strategic move Cloud noticed.

               “So, you said you wanted to talk?” Cloud said, and it was surprising that he didn’t try to force his voice to be light. Cloud hated conflict; he avoided it to the last moment, right up until his temper ran away from him. They both knew this would be one regardless of how they approached it, but he expected some last hopeful attempt to avoid it.

               “I did. There’s a conversation we need to have.”

               “I’m listening.”

               Again, no avoidance. Maybe Cloud did understand? Maybe he had made his peace with things?

               “As you know, I tend to phrase things very poorly. I’ve spent a lot of time trying to figure out the best way to say this, but I haven’t succeeded in coming up with anything. I’m going to be blunt instead.”

               “You usually are.”

               Sephiroth looked at him more closely. Was that pointed or just honest? He couldn’t tell.

               “We need to break up.”

               Silence.

               Dead silence.

               He expected something. _Anything_. Cloud was the most emotional person he knew. The most expressive he’d ever met by far. He wore his heart on his sleeve.

               Right now, though, he had a perfect poker face.

               Even his eyes seemed to be dead flat. There wasn’t a twitch of muscle or a fidgeting tell. The only sign that Cloud had heard what he’d said was that he turned a shade or two lighter.

               Cloud blinked in silence.

               It became clear he wasn’t going to say anything.

               Sephiroth cleared his throat and plowed on.

               “With you entering SOLDIER, our relationship has become overly risky. If we’re discovered, you’ll be accused of sleeping your way into the program at best, but more likely expelled. There’s a possibility they would ban you from working with Shinra at all in the future, which we both know is the only way to make an actual living wage in this city.”

               Again, silence.

               It was eerie. He had thought of many possible reactions from Cloud, anything from tears to screams, but emotionless silence hadn’t been one of them. It was out of character.

               Again, it became clear he wasn’t going to say anything.

               “I know it might not necessarily be my place to make this decision, but it’s really the only one to make. I can’t watch you throw away your career for our relationship. Perhaps, once you’ve risen through the ranks enough, we can begin again, but for now, it’s just not an option.”

               More quiet blinking.

               “Cloud, say something, _please_.”

               “Did you say what you wanted to?”

               It was Sephiroth’s turn to blink.

               He sounded so calm. So reasonable. Like this conversation was over what to have for dinner, not the state of their partnership. The only, only thing that showed any hint that he was upset was the way his hands trembled slightly in his lap.

               “I—… yes.”

               “Then, if you don’t mind, leave.”

               “… Cloud?”

               He expected a conversation of some sort. An argument. To be told that this wasn’t his decision to make, to have to argue Cloud around to see sense, to have an outright battle of wills that would likely end in a stalemate and them stubbornly not continuing to speak with each other, at least for a while.

               He didn’t expect cold, perfectly polite dismissal.

               “Leave.”

               “Don’t you think we should… discuss this?”

               “You’ve made up your mind, haven’t you?”

               “… Yes.”

               “Then, we have nothing to discuss, and I would like you to leave.”

               Everything in him screamed to reach out. Somewhere, deep under all of that, Cloud had to be hurting. Up until now, it had been his job to help him through that hurt. To support him. It made him ache to be the one to cause that pain, but not even being allowed to see it stung him deep.

               After he sat there in stunned silence for long enough, Cloud stood up and crossed to the door. He took Masamune in one hand, held it out with the tip resting on the floor, and opened the door.

               “Leave.”

               Sephiroth stood slowly, his mind going a mile a minute. There had to be something he could do. He still cared about Cloud—still loved him. He’d hoped to make this as painless as possible, and despite the dead silence he’d received in response, he knew there was pain there. He could be a shoulder to cry on, or at least a target to throw words and objects at. He was being allowed to be neither.

               Without a word, he crossed to the door. He took Masamune carefully from Cloud’s fingertips, and then he hesitated. He looked at the new SOLDIER again. Cloud looked pointedly out the door. Sephiroth stepped through it, and it was closed quietly behind him.

               His grip on his sword was white-knuckled. He leaned against the door and let his head fall back against it. This had all gone so much worse than he expected it, and there was nothing he could do to make it better.

               He wasn’t sure how long he stood there, but eventually he heard it.

               There was a loud crash. Breaking glass and china. Wood splintering. A cry of rage. More crashing.

               It seemed to go on forever, Sephiroth caught in a wince the entire time.

               There it was. All that emotion he’d been waiting for.

               And here he was. On the other side of the door. Shut out.

               Which was entirely his fault.

               He cursed quietly to himself, just in time to hear the rage turn to sadness.

               Turn to Cloud sobbing into his PHS, saying, “Zack, please don’t ask any questions, just come over, please?”

               It hurt and helped in turns. Something in him unwound and he finally walked away.

               He might be shut out, but at least Cloud was letting someone in.


End file.
